Fat Cat

I used to work for a small company where the owner/our boss told us all separately in our first pay review for two years that the company was struggling and unfortunately there wasn’t any money for pay rises even in line with inflation.

 

The next day he turned up to work in a brand new Brabus Mercedes.

A Tight Squeeze

I used to work part-time in a shoe shop whilst at school.

 

The back of the shop was really grotty and had small aisles. My boss was a fat, balding, unclean sweaty man.

 

To top it all, he had the biggest testicles in the world and he was obviously very proud of them as he used to wear the tightest ankle basher trousers all the time.

 

So whilst us poor shoe girls were in the aisles fetching and finding shoes, he used to love nothing better than to walk past us. Nothing wrong with that, except that the aisles were so small he had to turn sideways to get past us, then do a funny jumping shuffle whilst squeezing past us. 

 

The feeling of his bulbous testicles pressing against me will be something I’ll never forget. I think that makes him the worst boss. 

On Your Bike

My name is Matt and I used to work in a drive thru handwash and hoover centre in Wrexham, right next to a river. My work mate always came to work on a push bike, but every time before he started work he washed his bike.

I could start to see it was annoying the boss. He called me over and said: “If I see him wash that bike again, I’m gonna throw it in the river!”

I just laughed and thought he was joking. The next day, though, my mate came in on his bike, went straight into the drive thru and started to wash his bike. After he washed it, he left it and goes to a nearby cafe. Then I saw my boss run towards me. “Grab the bike,” he yelled.

I was like “What!?”

“Grab the bike and throw it in the river,” he said.

So under pressure from the boss, I threw it in the river. Before I realised what I’d done, it was too late and all I could see was the bike floating down the river. Then my boss said he wouldn’t tell my mate the truth, and that the bike was nicked or something.

After about 10 mins, my mate came back and was in shock to find his bike gone. My boss piped up straight away and said that I threw it in the river. I couldn’t believe it – I had to pay for a new bike! And for that, he’s the worst boss ever.